- 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
- me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
The cognitive dissonance caused by a society that tells its children to “follow their dreams” through messages in films, literature, etc. and then punishes them for not choosing safe, money making careers in adulthood is fascinating, to say the least.
I look at you, and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you.
Bill Nye in freshmen year of high school is the coolest shit I’ve ever seen
From old school cool to -
The president got to meet me. Ha bill nye is the fucking man
i temporarily fall in love with like any guy thats nice to me at all like the checkout guy at CVS told me to “stay dry” this morning bc it was raining and i thought about him for like 2 hours after that
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
Son of a bitch